PresS RELEASE! THE REBEL : REMEMBER YOUR FAILURE IN THE CAVE L.P.
How long is an album?
How good - or bad - is a piece of string? What makes a nice relative? Questions of these type sic are answered and also asked in and or of The Rebel's new album, "As Thyme Goes Off/Past Its Sell By". I'm listening to a gr8 album right now, for instance, have you heard this one? I know, brilliant isn't it! I only had the record before but now i've got the cd, i really think it hath come into it's sic own. About 3 months before The rebel asked me - his manager - to write this press release, my latest wife ejected me from the flat and so I have been in the enviable position that every 40 something man - Hey! Or woman ! _ finds theirself in at one time or other in 1986, namely, having to buy all its record vinyl albums ON CD because a)Cd has just come out, it's 1986, or b)his or her record player and record collection is in the wife or husband's house which they used to live in together for about 5 minutes. You should see my new cd collection, it would make you WEEP with sorrow. Anyway i was listening to my new cd copy of ABBA Greatest Hits volume 2 the one with Take a chance on me on it when suddenly the phone rings, the red phone, the Bat-phone, and it's The Rebel asking to borrow £600 and if I would write the press release for his - or her - new album. "Hey no problem brother," I said, gargling my large gin and tonic. "I'll get started on it right away!" That was 3 months ago, like I told you. Have you seen Dumbo? It's fucking class. The scene with the champagne in the bucket and they get drunk and the bubbles then the pink elephants dance, SOLID. A lot of people probably i don't know actually have a wee promble with the crows talking jive, have you seen that bit? You must have, it comes right after the pink elephants, it's when the mouse and Dumbo are hungover. It's quite funny that all humans are scum because in this instance of their stupidity they are missing out on a great song about Language. I'm almost LOOKING FORWARD to dying and going to Hell so that I can welcome them with a big molten sign in flames 50 feet high, saying : 'I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO, YOU FUCKING DEAD CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTTTTSSSSSSS.
How long and good are an album? Transformer, Touch, Fear Of Music, Bend Sinister on CD. Hey look, the sun is up!
Tony Pearson, Personal anagement.
Congreve House, May 5th 2021.
Label: Wrong Speed Records
Catalogue Number: WSR011